❥ Thursday, December 17, 2009 @ 8:59 PM
Nights ago I had this dream about you people. People that I was once extremely close with, 2years ago. I dreamt that I was about to leave SG, and when you all knew, all of you merely smile and said "Oh, byebye". The expressions that you all had were a simple I-don't-care. It reminded me of what happened last year. It was my nightmare for months, and I told myself I never want to experience the same thing again. I wouldn't bother so much about others anymore. I know it's just a dream but still it hurts. So hurtful that I actually wokeup in tears. Sigh, I really wonder when can I ever let go of such matters. It's so tiring..
Today, I looked @ my hands. And I felt moody. I'm just 16 yet my hands're wrinkled. Why, you ask? Because of my job. A shampoogirl in a saloon. Cool, you say? Maybe when you're not the one working. I used to think that people who works in a saloon is prettaye coolz. But now? Nah. Being a shampoogirl = wrinkled hands because of the long term of "soaking" in shampoo and water. Pathetic. I'm so down nowadays whenever I thought about work. Should I giveup or no? I'm getting tired of facing people's black faces. I know I did wrong things but don't I deserve a chance? I'm not asking for more but just go back to how we all use to be. We might not be extremely close but atleast, close and funny. I honestly miss those joking times. But now it suck. I even dread going to work when I wakeup in the morning at times. I hate this feeling, totally. :( I don't know if I should continue or not. Sighz. Life sucks ttm in M'sia. I hate here. __ If only I continued my study in SG. I wouldn't be like how I'm now. Though I'm not extremely rich in SG but atleast I don't have to work until I'm so exhausted. Atleast I'll have friends and people to confess in whenever I'm sad in SG. Atleast I have my love ones there. Atleast I'll smile. Atleast... I can be so much happier than now. I can't wait to end my life here. Everything's on the negative here. I hate this. Fuck.
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Hi. Rants everywhere above. Ignore them if you don't like reading so much. I won't stop ya. :) Today was bad. You'll know if you read *points to the top*. Hah. I'm soooo broke nao. Left with only a few RM leh, you say cham anot ZZZ. Lmfao. I'm bored nao. Gonna play SDO I think. Something like audi. The people inside so noob can. 178bpm Up&Down DB4 they say hard. LOL. Funneh. Haha. Don't say I bad lah. I'm not. I'm sooooo nicee. :) I'm being so random now siak. LAUGH. Funny. ^^v Goodbye blog. I'll miss you. :) What?? I don't miss you? Where got? I miss Kelvin phuabibi + (insert names pl0x). HAHA. Funny shit. Oops I need Carlsberg.. I miss Chivas + greentea :( Now I need to smoke. LMAO. Die liao. My ciggs finishing. Left only 4stix I think. Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooo T.T Gonna update in private blog nao. Hehe. I'm like zi bi now :) BAI BAI BAI.
Oh ya paiseh forget add something here.
Leemeixuan sist. I just got to know what happened from you minutes ago in MSN. (It's now 9:51PM) Cheerup alright? Nothing'll happen to you. You'll be fine, you'll be fine. I'll be here with you. I love you sist. You have me. Smile please.
