❥ Monday, August 31, 2009 @ 5:37 PM
Hi everybody, missed me not? ^-^
My w850i's being a bitch yesterday. I wanted to blog with it but dk what happened to my phone's gprs, so I can't blog.. :(
I'm currently at a lan anyway! Have got only one hour to spare, and I'm only left with 20+ mins :O
Been slacking at home and walking around lately. Went down to the baibai place (not temple) to look for my dad they all.
It's for 7th month de lol.
Alot people there siol, cause they're having dinner there? :O
Saw till alot of uncle's ginnas hahahaha.
Actually I wanted to say hi to Ahgai one lor. But I don't dare cause he's like so.... Fierce LOL
It's like I stare at him then he stare at me? ._.
And I saw a few handsomes too lor. But walao, sit till so far away, cannot bio more LOL
Crapz. ('x')
I doesn't have much things to blog recently leh. Everyday also same thing lol.
Maybe I should do some reflections here? :)
-
My aunt texted me to 'scold'/reprimand me 2days ago. She told me something that really makes me feel so guilty and upset.. Before I left sg on Wed morning, my grandma gave me RM500 + ahpa gave me RM100 = RM600. My aunt told me that my grandma had the money to give the RM500 to me cause she went to pawn her stuffs (like maybe her gold necklace or whatsoever that's worth that much) because she's afraid that when I'm in Msia nobody will give me money to spend. I swear I felt damn heartbrokened. Why must she dote on me so much? I'm not even blood-related to her. Even though many times I shouted at her to not care about me, but everytime after that I'll feel very sorry and guilty for doing so. But did anybody know? No. Everyone just thinks that I'm an ahlian (which I'm not la please -.-), I don't bother about the people's feelings around me, that I've no heart. Even when my aunt says that I'm such person, I don't bother explaining either, because I don't think I have the need to what. It's my way of life, why will you outsiders bother? As long as I know about myself, I guess that's more than enough. Why can't you people think, what caused this present me? It's the people around me. Influences. Surroundings. Yes, I grewup in a kinda rich family, I can get whatever I want when I was young, be it money, dozen of barbiedolls, mini motorcycles/cars that can really used to drive (for kids ofcourse), whatever. I'm not trying to showoff here, but so what I have got all these? I grewup in loneliness. I had noone to talk to. Everyone attended to the restaurant more than they really care about my feelings. They never asked if I like doing this or that but just get everything settled for me and ask me to attend it. As time passes, as I get older, I never liked telling others (especially them) how I feel. I skipped school, wanting them to care more about me, to ask about me, but what I got back from everyone is that I'm rebellious, I don't know how to think. Yeah they might be true about the "I don't know how to think" part, but that was the past already. I regretted so much for not attending school and endup in such situation. Over the past 1year+, I tried so much to let them know that I'm really keen in going back for studies, that I'm different now, but nobody seems to care. They just judge me by what they're seeing me as. You think I really like spending money on tattoos? I do appreciate them in a way of art, but actually I also know that it's a waste of money. I had my first one done @ 15 for my birthday, and one year later (now), I've got tattoos here and there over my bodies. For what? To ease the pain of everything. The most loved one left me, despite me giving everything that he wanted, those love and feelings. I didn't talked to him for weeks already, maybe I don't really love him now but I do miss him. As for the other, I've got no comments over him, because the time spent together is really too lil, I don't know what to say/do over it. But whatever, I don't believe in sweet talks anymore, it's bloody mother fucking a pile of shiat.
But anyway, just in case you guys are wondering, I'm doing quite fine here.
Thanks for all those regards, I love you guys! :)
Do continue keeping my cbox alive alrighie? ^^
