♥ @ Kisses

❥ Friday, June 12, 2009 @ 3:02 PM

I had a dream last night. A very sweet but also heartbreaking dream. I dreamt that he's still with me and when we were hanging out with Felicia, he got a ring and proposed to me. Like wtf. -.- What's wrong with me? Still thinking, missing and loving someone that doesn't love me anymore? Or maybe from the start he didn't love me at all? Ohwell. I saw his Friendster, it's the picture that I helped him took at my place. How heartbreaking and shocked I was, you can imagine. I don't know what should I do, what can I do to forget this guy. All I want is to live my life as it is now and forget everything about him. But I just can't. I don't even bear to delete those pictures that we took together and looked at it every night. I cried when my phone blacked out because I thought that's the end of seeing his pictures. Damn, I'm really not me. I love him till I've lost the real me. Just what the fuck is wrong with me! I hate this, I really hate this me! I want to be the past Weiai that can pick up this and let go easily. I want to be like how I used to be, smiling and laughing happily everyday, from the bottom of my heart. But I can't anymore, my heart's full of his and I's memories that's drowning me. I don't trust guys anymore. Guys to me are just fucking good liars and heartbreakers. It's always the girls getting hurt in a relationship, or should I say 95 to 98% of all? Girls are always the one giving in and pampering the guys but guys doesn't appreciate it, in fact they take girls for granted just because they thinks girls wouldn't bear to leave or break with them! I've enough. I'm really learning to let go, I'm just still stuck and living in those memories of us being together. If time can freeze at those moments, I'll still be smiling like a happy young girl, I'll still be beside him and feeling his warmth. But everything's gone, gone with the wind.

I miss you terribly. But will you ever think of me?

Don't love a person too much when you ain't sure if he's your future, for if it doesn't works out you'll fall till the very deepest, just like how I did.

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