❥ Wednesday, June 03, 2009 @ 8:26 PM
Hi all. :D I'm now in KL already. Currently staying with my Malaysia grandma, and boy I really don't like staying here can. :( There's nothing to do here, only sleep/eat/walk around. Sad thing is - There's nothing to walk here. Not even a proper shopping centre. Wtf right -.-
Monday was rather sad. Cause I left Sg that morning. While i was still sleeping, Liping'Darling called me up & she actually came all the way till downstairs my house & passed me something. Thanks Darling, I luv it alot. I luv you! <3
Talked for quite awhile, then went to Redstar's to have dimsum. Afterthat, Guardian drove us to GoldenMile to send me off. There's a fire there sia o: Hugged Darling for th one last time, and got up onto the bus. I kept calling K, but.. His phone is off. How upset I was? Beyond words can say.
So that was when I openedup what Darling gave, and I cried. I'm glad to have a friend like her. :')
K, you know, how much I wished that whatever you told me in that sms was true. That day when I was with you, I told you how I felt, you just keep quiet & nodded in agreement. I thought you really do luv me, but after all these happened, no, actually you don't. I was just a toy to you, someone that you're playing with. Many people told me to leave you because you're not a goodguy, I deserve for a better. But no, I didn't listen to them. I listened to my heart & followed what it wanted me to do. I did what I want to, I said what I want to, too. That day when you kept silent, I already knew that something was wrong. I knew that you don't luv me anymore. What hurts me most was you actually lied to me. Why, what've I done you wrong to deserve such things from you. I told you sososo many times how much I luv you, and how much I miss you, but I don't want you to be with me because you promised you won't leave me but because you luv me. I have noone to blame but myself, for being so stupid to believe you again and again. I even hurt someone who's innocent just to get back to you this player. I can't believe, that you actually putup a show for me to see for 2 almost to 3 months. Ever since Sunday I kept calling you, hoping you'll answer. Yesterday when Darling told me something, I knew that you're avoiding me. How hurtful I'm, you'll never see, you'll never know. I've pinned too much hope on you, and so now I fall till the very deepest. You've won in this lovegame, while I lost everything, I've lost terribly. I luv you, I really do. Even though you've hurt me deep, but still I miss and love you as much everyday..
If I'd known this outcome, I rather I didn't met you. I rather I didn't luv you. I rather you weren't mine from the start..
