❥ Thursday, February 19, 2009 @ 12:13 PM
Lol i am back!
I decided to post once more since i am rly v bored right now. Haha.
I thought about my past again. Got reminded about 2D'07, th class that i loved deeply since sec2. This class, was th best class i ever had.
I loved my primaryschool's too, but it isn't as much as 2D.
Even though we've got different groups among us, but when it comes to co-operation it's thr. Even if not 100%, it's atleast 90%.
I miss those days whr we plays tgt, studies tgt, hangingout tgt, pouring our hearts out to one another & every other things we done tgt.
I treasured you all more than my Sg family back then.
You guys were my everything. Just one word of yours & if it's within my abilities i will help you. Whatever you guys said, i believed.
But ever since me & Laypeng drifted apart, i was no longer close to any of you anymore. You guys hangout so often that whenever i asks anybody out i'll be rejected. You guys asks me to go along, but is thr a point? We've got no topic to talk about. Haha.
Sec3, is my worst year ever.
Things started to change, & th gap inbetween us gets bigger and wider.
When we sees eachother in canteen we just act like we didn't see eachother. When you guys talks to me i just give those cold responses.
I didn't know what to say to you all. I'm at loss of words.
You all didn't know how many times i cried over & over again cuz of this matter.
I treated you all as my goodfriends, best classmates ever, but just because i dropped to NormalAcademic you guys stopped talking to me so often like we did during 07.
When i was leaving Sg during April08 only a handful of you came to meet me. But that wasn't what i expected. I came back to Msia, and things are from bad to worst. Everyone in my family looks down on me & despise me, shouting at me saying that i am a burden to everyone.
If it was in th past, all these wouldn't matter so much.
Because i had you guys.
Or atleast i thought i had..
But by then i totally brokedown & cried nonstop. Because i know that i no longer have you all.
Even breakingoff w boyfriends doesn't hurts me so much. Laughs.
When i am finally back during July08. I thought you guys would welcome me warmly w hugs & everything.
But... All i see is just "Hello how are you" & that's it.
Laughoutloud.
How nice eh?
From that moment i stepped into BM that day, saw you guys, talked to you guys, i know that we all changed.
We are no longer that bunch of ppl that hangsout tgt always laughing & joking.
I am no longer in your clique.
I felt so disheartened when i saw you guys on that day.
On my birthday, it sucked totally.
I thought thr would be celebrations but thr was nth.
I was even waiting like a fool, spending my time alone at Tiong for hours.
Out of almost 10ppl that came l8r, only less than 5 wished me 'Happy Birthday'. At that point of time i swear i was damn upset & pissedoff.
I didn't expect my birthday to turn out like this.
What a lousy one.
One of them's birthday is near to mine & i wished him HappyBirthday when i met him on my birthday, passed him a present even. But, he didn't even wish me.
Lol, how nice..
My 15th birthday is th worst one ever.
I don't wanna celebrate anymore.
I am so afraid that i will get disappointed again & again.
So this time round when i goes back Sg i wouldn't expect any warm welcomes or whatsoever.
Those disappointments i had are far too heavy for me to carry it anymore.
You ain't me, you wouldn't understand how fucking miserable i felt.
Nobody knew how i felt these 3years.
Sigh.
Until now i still gets upset over these things but, i won't cry anymore.
I have wasted too much tears on you guys.
Even though now we're not close anymore, but i still treat you all as my friends. Cheers. :)
I am so glad that i have a understanding boyfriend now. With him besides me, i am contented enough.
Even though i don't believe in eternity, but i wishes that me & him will last long.
Because i rly loves him deep down from my heart, & i can't afford to see another loved one leaving me, anymore.
I have lost too many loved ones over th past 1year...
Dear, i will never ever let your hand go.
我爱你。
I am also happy that i have got a bunch of sisters & brothers that're rly lovely and i love them to bits too.
One day we'll all meetup and have fun, yeah?
I love you all. <3
I wished that i can help my guardians & grandma in Sg..
Sigh.
Anyway.
I can surf for free now.
So find me online in MSN okay! :)
And why are thr so many weirdweird ppl adding me on MSN? ._. Lmfao.
Tata.
