❥ Saturday, February 21, 2009 @ 2:48 PM
Taken on 18Feb outside my hse.
Previous's photo too.
I seriously thinks that I am so damn ugly. Omg.
As i said in my previous post, yesterday ain't my day. Argh..
We brokeup at 10PM? I shed 2tears while bathing after.
After i am done bathing i watched discs, like again? So boring -.-
After watching for like 2hrs i got so damn irritated because it's so fucking hot despite i was directly under th fan which's like at th maximum power alrd? -.-
Fuck globalwarming la hor. -'-
Got tired of watching shows so i on-ed Jay's cd instead. I listened to "Give me a song's time" over & over again, thinking about what had happened, those nights when he told me how much he loves me, how much he loves hearing me sing.
And sad to say, after like 5hrs of holding my tears i shed another 2teardrops when reminiscing..
I really wanted to cry loudly but i have no idea why my tears just stopped falling down..
I felt so terrible. I miss him so much, so much..
He told me before that he will not leave me, will not let my hand go, will not want me to be upset but smile and happy w him by my side.
But now? Just because his mother disapprove us and so he ask for break immediately.
I know, i understand, she's your mother he's your father.
What about me?
I would had felt so much better if you says you won't call me but you'll still love me, and we'll still continue behind their backs.
But all you said was - I break w you now, but i will patch back w you in th future.
I kinda doubt that.
I guess you're better w/o me as your girlfriend?
You can get pretty girls to be yours instead.. Right? Hahaha.
I know that among all your girlfriends i am not th one you love th most.
But i can tell you that i love you th most, even more than my first boyfriend whom i once loved deeply too.
What can i do now? What am i suppose to do now?
Wait? Or be with another?
I don't know...
For th whole night, until now, your voice of telling me those stuffs kept talking in my mind.
I kept remembering you laughing at me, you saying me silly, you scaring me about ghosts, you saying how much you want to hug me, you saying you misses me, you saying you'll bring me to shop when i am back,
And you saying you love me.
Those memories just kept poppingout.
E, do you know how fucking much am i missing you...?
Some told me that, perhaps his love for me ain't that deep enough for him to fight back against his mother for our love. If he truly loves me, he wouldn't let me go so easily.
When i heard all these, i felt even worse.
Was that all an illusion...? Laugh.
I can't even think now. My mind's like all about him and his words to me. Every word he said to me before, i remembers... I really do..
Sigh. Perhaps love is just not my game, not for me.
But, i will never regret loving you.
Because i truly really loves you.
I don't know if i and you can wait till th day we can patch back. I don't even know when will it be.
I don't even know if you'll still love me by then..
I don't know if i will still love you.
Because by then, my heart will either have another,
Or left dead in th dark alleys..
I don't know who to turn to now.
I have got noone else w me, anymore..
E, 你知道吗？
你比我幸福多了。
因为你可以选择爱我或不爱我，
但是我只能选择爱你或更爱你……
