❥ Saturday, January 10, 2009 @ 3:02 PM
Yo! Hellohallo. Miss me? Hmmm? :P
Okeh-dokie. I'm frustrated. Because i cnt sms alrdy! Hell I've no idea why. It's either th line's fault or my phone. I'm hoping tht it's th line's, cuz if it's my phone's, I tell you i can die. I wonder when can i gt my LG KF510! ):
This phone is kinda long alrdy, like since May2008. But i rlyrly has gt this special fond towards it. I likes th design. It's so...... Chio. Mmm.
I dont rly wish to have a new SE phone cuz it's boring. I've used mine fr 1yr+ & i knw th functions well alrdy. Meaning if i uses another SE phone I'll be like.... So..... Sian.
SO, i would go fr my LG KF510! Heh-heh ^^
But still it's a question. To when can i have a new phone. I hope Grandma will get me that when i'm bck! Rlyrly hope okeh ):
Didnt blog so much nowadays is cuz
1) Phone gg no money
2) No mood
3) Dno what to blog
4) Phone's somehow being confiscated by th Tigeress in my hse. (i hope you knw who!)
Lol. It's only when she's out thn i can get my phone bck fr awhile. Sian luh.
When she 1st came bck frm JB i was being reprimanded like hell. That's so... argh. Who likes it when being scolded? Nobody righttttt. I feels so useless. Hahahaaaa.
Nah, you wont understand how i feels. It's... Unable to explain. Such terrible feelings. Whatever i do it's always not up to evryone's expectations. Isit theirs' are too high, or isit mine's just too.... Low? Idk. Ahahah.
Why cant life be simple. Or shld i say, it's always is. But humans just tend to make it complicated. Sometimes i wished tht i'm retarded. Atleast i dont have to bother abt life and everything loh, lol. No offence, okeh.
I'm getting so lost. Idk what i want. I.... Feels like being single. I dontlike being tied down and controlled. I'm not saying that he does that to me often but, sometimes? Smoke, tattoo, swearing etc. I rly hope that you can accept me fr who i'm. That's me. It's just like you love playing Dota. I dont control you fr that, do i? Maybe a few times but not everytime. I just dont like it whenever you asks me to not do this and that. I'm 16 this yr. I know what'm doing.
Yr last sms.. I dont deny that. It faded. But what else can i do? Nth. I'm tired. I just thinks that.. Long-distance r/s is rly hard to maintain. I thought i could but... Wrng. Totally wrng.
I cant sms you that's why i'm saying it here..
I thinks that single suits me more. It took me days to come to this decision.
You're a goodguy. I know you can find someone so many times btr thn me, cuz i'm nt good at all.
Furthermore i'm too tired to continue on.
I'm sorry. I hope you understand.
Lover, i hope you're doing fine in Sg w yr studies & evrything. Even though i'm now in Msia, & i cant be thr fr you physically, but i'm thr mentally. I dont treat you as my goodfriend only, but bestfriend. I rmb those days whn we can laugh tgt wildly at anything.
Th last day in Sg, spending it w you at PasirRis, cycling. It rly is memorable. I rly misses you alot here. I knw i sound untrue but i swear! I always looks at our photos taken tgt and smiles. Even with Desmond they all. I misses those times tgt w you all..
Andrea, my Lover.
I just wanna let you know that, aishiteru. (':
Laypeng! You think I'll leave you out? No okeh? (:
Imissyou terribly muchs too. As i said b4 somewhere in my previous posts, i still rmb like, 98% of stuffs that happened between us, be it happy or sad. I loved you prettyloads since th end of sec1, where we just started knowing eachother well. We talked about everything under th sky, be it public or private. I treated you as my super bestfriend then, and i was dam happy when you told me that you treated me as yours too. I'm happy to have a friend like you. Until now, i looks at our photos too. Iloveyou, buddy.
Th rest not mentioned, iloveyouguystonstoo. Missyouallhellloadsokay? (:
-
My aunt called me 40mins ago, scolded and shouted at me on th phone. Cuz my 2ndaunty want to buy me some food/snacks & i haven't told my Aunt so she got angry w me. She said i'm useless. Yea i'm, i'm a burden to everyone. She said tht my dad doesnt want to re-new my passport anymore. Which means i cant go bck Sg anymore.
我真的很不开心.我很想死.
Why? Wht've i done in my past life tht i gt all these nowadays? She says tht i dont deserve to be treated well. She says i makes a oldlady, which's my grandma, cries fr me; herself to be angry at me; my dad sees me he headache.
I'm a fucking big burden.
Since everyone dislikes/hates me so much shldn't i die? Right?
So many ppl is dying daily. Why a useless person like me dont? I rly wish tht I'll soon. It's doesnt matter to anyone, anyway. A-ha!
I wish i can commit suicide, but it's impossible. I wouldn't want to dirty my Aunt's hse. She wont like it. But she'll like it if i'm gone! I'm pretty sure. :D
Ah. I'm super.... Upset right now.
Byebye.
This girl is so lonely,
