❥ Monday, January 12, 2009 @ 2:39 AM
Aft 4days+ i finally knw why i cant sms.
Too much stuffs. I'm lazy to writeout. But i'm super fucking pissed. Dont even fucking check properly b4 blocking my line. Dont even fucking bother to give me a call & inform me. What kind of telecom company is this you fuckers? Huh? & I DID NTH WRNG. WHY DO I GT THESE RUBBISH. Block 1mnth, okay, nvm. STILL MST GODWN CENTRE TO UNBLOCK? W TH PERSON THT REGISTERED MY PREPAID? You ppl are fucking useless retarded morons w no fucking brain to think, fuckers! TO TH HELL YOU ALL GO OK PUALAOBYE _l_
I'm gonna disband my "clan". Fuck those cheebyekias tht lodge a complaint. Dont ever in your fucking life lemme knw who th fuck are you or you shall see you bastard/bitch. May your cock/vagina rot & grow maggots(worms) & it'll stink like fuck until noone'll wanna go close to you. _l_
Utterly disappointed in these ppl. FUCKYOUALL! I curse that you all will die w a TERRIBLE death, thankyou gumpua much.
Just when i was so fucking angry, a few ppl called me up. Some kena kan+attituded by me. Poor fellows. I'm so sry.
Talked to GZ th longest. I kept venting my anger on him. My most sincere apologies. Th most paiseh thing is tht... I cried like o-m-g on th phone. I even screamed. Th last time i screamed & cried was like mnths bck.. Hell i'm so paiseh. I rly cnt stop crying jst nw..
I'm envious of kids on th streets w parents. I rly am.. Th mre i think of it i cried mre. Why cnt i hv a family tht everyone have? Why isit tht I've to bear all these kind of responsibilities? Why cnt i be like anyother 16yr-olds out thr? Why? Why is my fate like this? Wht am i to everyone? Can anybody tell me?
Why am i being treated this way? Why are humans so judgemental? Why must you all judge me? Why cnt you all understand my feelings? Why must you all assume my everything? Why do you all always says tht i'm selfish? Aint you selfish too? Who's not selfish? Wht am i selfish fr? Everybody thinks tht i'm v happy tht i donthv to study. Lemme tell you, WRNG. You're wrng! You wouldn't knw how much i regretted not gg schl. Neither will you understand. Why isit tht humans'll only learn how to treasure & cherish only aft you lose it? Why is th world so unfair. Why? I've gt so many questions..
I cut my wrist jst nw. Yes it's stupid. Bt wht else can i do! I'm so lonely. Nobody understands me. Not even 1. They just assumes me! I dont like this! I hate being assumed! Stop all these nonsense will you? I'm a living warm-blooded mammal. I've gt feelings. I'm nt a those dolls tht you pulls th line & move it. I've my thinkings, feelings, wants, EVERYTHING! Why do adults always thinks tht whatever they does/thinks is fr our benefits & nv asks fr our opinions? So wht if you're older by age/status, SO? You still've to respect us, th teenagers, dont you? Whn i does sth wrng(in yr opinion) you'll say, Ai ah, you're old enough to think alrdy right? Blablabla. Thn whn i asks/requests fr sth, you'll say, You're still young la, cannot.
See? SEE? Why are adults like this! Fuck..
Talk about contradicting.. Tsk.
Stupid Xixi still nt calling me. I shall sleep soon. Am so tired today. So pissed.
And, penknives are useless. Only tht tiny lil bit of blood.. Want to die also cannot. Hell? Nah nvm. I jst hope tht I'll die SOOOON! Thr's nth worth fr me to stayon living, anyw.
I'm useless. A burden. Nobody loves me. Nobody needs me. I'm jst oh-so-unwanted. I'm a tissue. Once being used, i'm thrown away into th bin. No this is NOT chapters of life. Atleast fr me it's nt.. Nobody'll knw hw i'm feeling.
Dont act like you understand me well. Cuz you dont. Yes you dont! (:
And i hope tht whn readers're reading this post're nt pitying me cuz I DONT NEED. Tyvm.
Death is th thing that I'm totally not fear of. Come, deathgod, gt my soul into Hell or Heaven and either recarnate(forgot spelling lol)/jst let me be a wander spirit. Thn i cn float bck to Sg! LOL.
Actually....
If i cn sees my friends & guardians @ Sg in exchange of my live, i am willing to.
:)
;)
:)
